Searching After Wildness - journals of a photographic artist

I was overwhelmed, stressed out and losing motivation. But, there were things to get done. If I could just stay on task the world might not fall apart. I needed to prepare for an art show the coming weekend, there was still bookkeeping to do from the previous show and an approaching deadline for a freelance job. Not enough hours. The house was getting messier too. The lawn, overgrown. Piles of paper around my desk. I was running out of clean clothes. And, it was getting harder to like people, because all people do is generate more stuff to do.

Over breakfast, I mentioned my mood to a friend. Exasperated, I sighed, “Maybe I should take a walk in the woods.” “Yes”, David replied. He looked me deep in the eyes, the way you look at someone when you’re giving serious advice. “You should do that.”

Back at home, I recounted the breakfast conversation to my wife, Hannah. “Yeah, you should take that walk in the woods.” I nodded in agreement and promptly went to my office. I answered a few emails and fired up the accounting software. Sure, it would be nice to take a walk, but I was already behind on my work. It would be irresponsible to fall behind any further.

A few hours later,  Hannah came by. “What are you still doing here?” I blathered some excuses. Feeling defeated, I hopped into the car and drove towards my favorite park. It was painful to leave.

I parked the car, all along feeling sorry for myself. I walked into the woods, down a ravine and found a log by the river. And there I sat, on the log. I became still and watched the water flow by. About an hour passed.

It was just what I needed. Was it the meditation, the change of environment, or the peaceful quality of the woods? I don’t know. But I did know that things were going to be okay. Not only that, but I was grateful.

And then I picked up my camera and took a few pictures. I hadn’t taken a picture in weeks. I came home, lightened. On my camera was Root Swirl, the picture above.